if you have to turn up 40 minutes late at a fucking date well then you know what don’t turn up at all and i won’t have to lie to you and tell you that, nevermind, i love waiting yay who doesn’t and you won’t have to act like you didn’t notice that i’m a terrible actress and i just lied and i’m currently freaking mad at you and we’ll both live happy ever after

who the hell ever decided that you need two to have a happy ending

you just need a fucking couch and a fucking tv and a fucking ice cream